Orange's Journal

It's final, it's done between David and I.

It's a relief as well, get a chip off my shoulder to think about. At the same time, still crazy about him. So there's mixed feelings.

He's still living here until he decides when and where to move. We still wish the best of each other. The fact we're at peace gives me peace as well. I can't imagine I'd be satisfied with vengeance. David said that after awhile, I'll be okay, and that we're really together because I've become comfortable with it, we're not really compatible together.

I'm still mostly sad. I'm just putting on my tough gal facade. Mama taught my sister and I well, my sister agrees. I force myself to talk to people, force myself to smile. Eventually it will come naturally. I asked Andy to have more work, since I wanted something to do to occupy my time as I'm going through a break up, was really sympathetic. Lois said that my eyes looked a little swollen ... through tears and all. I explained to her, she mentioned about going through a tough time too lately, about her horse getting near to the end of life. I went pillow shopping with Ezinne, had good girlie time. I smiled, and had fun. Lots of fun, actually.

Work has been negative in productivity. My emotional side keeps on kicking in. Have to control it. I have to study hard. Do well. At minimal, that is what I have been doing. Hard to do when sad. I'm smiling, but crying inside silently. I can't dream of a future with David anymore. Perhaps I'll cry less tomorrow.

My day in Tweets:

• 23:07 Geeze, you shoot a hooker in front of her friend and suddenly no one will give you the time of day. #MyTerribleFableIILife #
• 23:58 Reading a non-DNA H2G2 book is a little like being tied down and forced to watch John Cleese perform the Dead Parrot sketch-- #
• 23:59 --through the tears as he's kicked about by ruffians. #
• 11:04 The Motherfucking Pterodactyl pterodactyl.me/ from @oatmeal #
• 11:40 I feel like a bad person for not loving the Smiths. Maybe I just haven't listened to enough. #
• 14:48 Oh, cool. The Facebook BlackBerry app automagically tagged all my contacts with their FB photos when I wasn't looking. #

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• 11:17 Fuck this. I'm going to Cuba! #
• 21:04 ^3^ #
• 22:07 INUK-CHUK!!! #

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Hello All,

Back for 2010, this year's Calendar illustrates the "Mythos from around the World!" (title subject to change). As with last year, thoughts and criticisms are very much appreciated!

First up we start with a very popular lady, Ms. Baba Yaga of Slavic folklore. The quintessential witch, riding around the skies on her Pestle, searching out her favorite food, naughty wayward children.

The first concept sketches;



After deciding on two possible ways too go, more refined versions;



The final inks;


and lastly, the colors!


Next up, The Bunyip of Australia!

On alien/human sexual interaction:

orelalaith: yeah; i mean, is it like putting on a furry suit and doing it with a dog?

My day in Tweets:

• 00:32 Engineering a trap for the centipede in my room using Rock Band instrument kit parts. #
• 00:34 It escaped into the closet. Pondering my next move. #
• 00:39 Having established that it can't walk upside down, I sealed up the bottom of my closet door with a dirty towel. CASK OF AMONTILLADO-STYLE. #
• 00:42 FUCK YOU AND THE LARVAE YOU RODE IN ON, CENTIPEDE. Okay, I'll shut up about it now. #manihatebugs #
• 17:09 This conference call I'm on could be summed up in four words: "We makin' A-Rod money." #
• 18:34 There is no chair in our apartment that will bring me high enough to change the burned-out lightbulb in my room. Pondering. #
• 22:59 Chased out of a house I own by the pistol-wielding tenant. I was just trying to catch a nap! Anyway, I shot her. #MyTerribleFableIILife #

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• 09:11 Good bye dental plan!!! #
• 14:01 Soooo hungrrrryyy #
• 14:06 No more apples in the vending machines PLEASE! #suggestions #

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I'm going home for Thanksgiving.

I need to be around people who care.

I think it's the end of it for David and I.

I'm out of tears, after using one whole roll of toilet paper.

My day in Tweets:

• 11:19 Sittin' with @niveusobscurum at a movie shoot at Columbia University. First time back here since S and I split. Feels weird. #

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how cool the pbs.org website is. I haven't watched 'Nova' or any of the other cool shows in a long time and they are available to watch on the website!

I may go home Thanksgiving weekend. I've been harboring too many unhappy thoughts.

I try to keep my spirits up. I've been spending so much time on school work that David isn't too happy about it. As result, I'm not too happy either. And also the fact that I hear more and more of comments on the way I talk doesn't help either. It comes to the point where I hear it so much, I just want to scream shut up, now what's something new you say beside it, or how would you suggest I fix it? Only my father would respond.

I just want to be in the company of my family.

My day in Tweets:

• 14:44 The Sims as a horror movie: is.gd/4PL2Q "There is no conceivable way to get past this fence!" #
• 20:57 It's good that @jacehan and I didn't have SFIV in college. We would never have gotten anything done. Less than usual, I mean. #

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• 14:44 twitpic.com/oncup - IMG00127-20091107-1442.jpg #
• 14:46 twitpic.com/ondbu - IMG00125-20091107-1432.jpg #
• 14:48 twitpic.com/ondma - IMG00126-20091107-1433.jpg #
• 15:19 twitpic.com/onj6t - IMG00132-20091107-1517.jpg #
• 15:21 twitpic.com/onjku - IMG00130-20091107-1507.jpg #

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I've been basically studying the soul out of my life today. I have an exam Thursday, and I have no choice but to do very well. David's brother is around since he had an dentist appointment this morning. I've been studying through them changing oil in the car, going to lunch and their shopping. I'm a little tired. I just ate some Asian pear, and I'm back to it again after updating this post.

Was at a review all of yesterday. I had my SAS stuff presented. I don't get it -- why does Andy think I don't want to present my stuff? Apparently when George from the Power branch asked if I wanted to present, I didn't. Huh?!? So I get flustered. I'm not ashamed though. I have to work on it, I'm aware of it. The more I get to talk, the more I can improve on it. What irks me is when people speak for me because they think I can't. I can -- verbosity is not my strength, but it's nothing I'm ever ashamed of. I've noticed more and more that people are embarrassed for me than I am. Andy is a good guy, but hiding is no way to improving. I'm more embarrassed because it's like I was hidden. George did comment on how he's impressed with the rack.

I can't wait until I start on the Astro-H project. :-) 

Back to studying now ...

"For example, the Star Wars prequels, which I have a relationship to like a senile old parent. I want to love you but you just keep shitting your pants."

My day in Tweets:

• 02:41 Hmm. If I pass out at my desk, I won't have to drag myself to it in the morning, and then I don't have to move all day. #
• 11:06 I tried the L4D2 demo. It did absolutely nothing for me. #
• 11:29 Holy wow, a free Pixies EP: t.opsp.in/ABa6 #
• 12:31 Today's thought: MC Frontalot's a better lyricist, but MC Lars is a better musician. MC Chris is just kind of a spaz. #
• 17:05 I'm playing Fable II. I'm trying really hard to be good, but I'm really bad at it. My fake wife divorced me and took my fake baby! #
• 17:06 I'm thinking about roleplaying this out. I'll play an adventurer whose idealism is slowly worn away, turning him to villainy. #
• 19:09 Accidentally set a bar on fire while trying to impress a woman. Then, I did it again. #MyTerribleFableIILife #

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• 10:26 Stretch out and wait. #
• 21:18 twitpic.com/ok3ov - IMG00124-20091106-2113.jpg #

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